August 31, 2009
After my major breakthrough, things have been smooth. So smooth, that i wasn't used to it. Thank God for what He had in store for me!
Lately, i've been feeling a bit empty. It's really not a pleasant spot to be, but it really made me question, "Lord, what's wrong with me? Why is it that the things i'm doing for You don't seem worth doing than just a few weeks ago?" i knew something was wrong with my relationship with Him, and that kept me thinking.
Last, last Friday, Kuya Ed and Kuya Josh arrived here in Dumaguete to have a short vacation. i went to the airport at 8am, thinking that a bunch of the youth also planned to meet up with them, only to find out that i was the only one who did so. Anyway, when they both finally arrived, i met up with them, and they invited me over to Josh's place, where both of them will be staying for the next ten days, for breakfast (my second, if i might add). They had me update them with what was going on with the youth, and of course, i gave them good news and bad news. Then we all talked about church, how we were, plans, and a few things under the sun.
After Kuya Josh and i visited a friend in the hospital that same morning, while Kuya Ed decided to catch some Z's, Kuya Josh and i had a talk. He really asked me about why i was serving God. Now, i really can't remember what my answer was, but what he said to me really convicted me. He asked me, "In the absence of the people who encourage you, and the people who keep you accountable, is your relationship with the Lord strong enough to withstand the pressures of the world?" Now that really hit me. He then told me that we serve God, not because we have anything to gain in it, whether it be the good feeling we get in serving, or any other reason, but we serve Him because He is worthy of our service! That's why we always go back to the Cross. He did it all for us, so why not do it all for Him? To us who are serving, in the corners of our minds, we might not realize that we had other motives of serving or pursuing the faith.
As for me, i've been in tight situations for my entire walk with the Lord until just recently, and after our talk with Kuya Josh, i realized that when God lifted the weights, it wasn't Him i was completely leaning on to. i was mostly relying on the encouragements i kept getting from my sibs at church, that i have forsaken my First Love! Fact is, He is worthy of my all, and i have lost sight of that! It just proves that EVERYTHING in this dark world is meaningless, and nothing but a mist blown away by the wind. Not that encouragement isn't good, but it shouldn't be the reason why i serve. God should be the reason of service! He is the only thing that will not pass away.
When i got home that day, i just fell to God and asked Him to forgive me for leaning onto something else, and for Him to just take me.
The next day, after sharing to a bunch of friends at McDonald's with Kuya Josh and Kuya Ed, we went to gather a bunch of the youth at the room where a friend of ours was in because Ed and Josh had something to share to us. Basically, it was about what Kuya Josh and i talked about the day before, and that really encouraged me more. Then Kuya Ed got to the part about sharing our faith. He said something which convicted me further about who to share to. He told us that we should not pray about whether or not to share to someone, because God had already commanded us to do so. Rather, pray for the words we need to say to extend Him to those who are in need. We also shouldn't comprimise with other fellow believers. To those who proclaim the Name of the Lord, we should also test them whether or not they know what Christianity means, because we don't want people running around, thinking that they are saved. That really hit me as well. i mean, there's no good excuse why not to share the Gospel! Says in 2Timothy1:7"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
After that, i was dead-set ready to share. When i got home that day, i asked God to just empty me of myself, and let Him take control. After that, He's led me to so many people! i mean, i'm sharing to at least one person every day! God drastically changed me! It was AWESOME!!! If you would've asked me to share to that many people, i would probably run straight for the EXIT door. But God took hold. For the past week, probably the only time when my flesh took more control was when i complained about something.
It has been an awesome week. i've been given a better, more genuine fire for the Lord. i pray God will continue to carry this out, and that i would continue to just keep surrendering to Him.
Check your motive of service. So many have fallen because they have lost sight of the reason why there's service. Also, never comprimise your faith. Let the lost be welcomed home.
Remember, we are all sinners(Romans3:10-12), bound to hell(Romans6:23), punishment and death, but because God loves us so much, that He gave us Jesus Christ, to live the life we could not live, a perfect life, so that no sin would be found in Him. Because He was blameless, He offered Himself up as a replacement, taking upon Himself the punishment that was supposed to be for us, not because of anything we've ever done to deserve Him doing it for us, but because we were so in need, that He did that to clean us from our sins so we would be found blameless (Isaiah52:13-Isaiah53:12). The only thing we have to do is to accept Him as our Lord and Savior, and repent. Repentance means trying not to sin, and the best way to do that is to read the Bible (Psalm119). There's no other way (John14:6).
2GBDG!!! (To God Be The Glory)
SOFT L!!! (Sold Out For The Lord) <><
