Sweetly Broken

"the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart. O God, You will not despise."

- Psalm 51:17

This year's first ever CORE camp in CCD is the very first college ministry summer camp, as it is my very first summer camp. The theme for this year is Sweetly Broken, wherein we are taught the true meaning of brokenness as a believer, how it happens, why it has to happen, and where God really is in our brokenness. It was da COOLEST! We couldn't bring (use, rather) our cellphones, or bring anything like games to lessen our distractions, but it was WORTH IT!!! I'm glad i left my phone.

Since it was my first camp ever, i was (naturally) out of my shoes excited. I finished packing my bags two nights before the first day, and i kept on calling Pastor Jerry (or Kuya Jerry or KJ) our youth pastor, for information, precautions, rules, activities, and other stuff that i felt like i was starting to get on his nerves (hahah).

On the very day (March 23) after lunch, i set off to CCD to meet up with those who were going to get a ride to the venue. When we finally left, i already started taking pictures of everything and everyone, especially when we arrived. Everyone registered on time (except for Kor, who had a class and arrived past six). We had a blast with the first game, wherein each of the campers shouted out their own name and course. Later, they split us all up into two groups, separating us (the groups) with a thick blanket. The object of the game was to guess the name and course of the person on the other side of the blanket when it was pulled down. Our team won! WOOHOO!!! After that, we played cops and robbers, guys versus girls. Girls won, but it was real fun!

KJ and Ate M always encouraged us to meet new people. They even grouped us into tables with people we didn't know during dinner. On our table, we had a real fun conversaton, but we had to end it because Session 1 was about to start, and Pastor Jo will be teaching us. The message was awesome! It was taken from Hosea 2:14-23, wherein God was punishing His people for their unfaithfulness, but He reminds us that He hates sin, but loves the sinner (oh, how i love that line!), and wants us to draw to Him and Him alone because the things of this world are worthless and broken. He also reminds us that we have to be broken and contrite (Psalm 51:17b) in order to obtain self-emptiness, because God is all we will ever need, and that after brokenness, we always get a new, better perspective of God. The message not only spoke to me, but to all of us. I spent time alone, talking to God afterwards in one of the covered areas. It was awesome. After a while, Kuya Miggy approached me to find out what's up, after he had a conversation with Kuya Cole. We bonded and encouraged each other for a while and shared our struggles. It was great. Eventually, we all had to go to bed.

The next day, i woke up at 5am (after waking up and sleeping again at 3am), and did my morning devotion next to a praying mantis. Afterwards, i took a few cool pics of everything, especially the colors reflecting the ocean before the sun rose. Kuya Champy then woke up and we both sat on the sand, staring at the horizon. Not too long afterwards, i discovered that he was actually waiting for the sunrise. I took more really cool pics of it. He and i then sang the first lines of the song, Beautiful. We then started our group devotion, then took our physical b-fast, and had Session 2 with Pastor Jo. The message was really awesome as well. It was taken from Genesis 32:22-32 when Jacob was wrestling with God. Pastor Jo reminded us that although Jacob was chosen by God to receive the blessing which was originally intended for Esau, Jacob was self-consumed, and his heart was not right with the Lord. When he struggled with God, he obviously lost, and received a broken hip. Pastor Jo reminded us that the first step to brokenness is admitting our failures, and that God is always right. If we struggle against God, insisting our way of the flesh, we WILL lose! There's no point in standing firm on something which God points out as wrong. After the session, we prayed for each other, and then had lunch, then we had our free time, which i spent on taking an extra long, relaxing, nap.

After i woke up, we were about to start our group activity, Core version of the Amazing Race! We were distributed to three groups. I was on the Orange Team! I tell you, the tasks weren't easy, and all had to be done in teams, like skiing with wood with teammates across the entire yard, filling up a bucket with water using nothing but the clothes on your back, passing two bicycle tires in a group circle, crabwalking across the sand. It was EXHAUSTING! Fun, but exhausting. Our team won because even though we finished second, we were the only team which stuck our flag in the correct place! Out of breath, we were called by KJ so he could tell us the purpose for the game. Not only was it for team building, but it meant a lot more than that. Reading the clues, we scanned through the paper like lightning, afterwards, just remembering the words, we took off to do the task, even though the task wasn't done pretty well. Though this was a game, the same thing shouldn't be done in our time with God, when we read our Bibles, afterwards, saying, "That was great!", and then taking off to face the challenges of the world. It needs time spent to understand what was written. When we were told to do the task again, most if not all of us took the instruction like sport. We shouldn't be like that when we receive rebuke from God, or a bro or sis, even if it means we have to go through the same task again. Some of us weren't exactly a good encouragement to our teammates when we did the race, even. In our walk, our bros and sis are there to encourage us! Last but not the least, not one of us started the game with a group prayer. It was all about winning. In our relationship with the Lord, are we more focused on God, or ourselves? Or rather, do we even have an intimate relationship with God where God is large and in charge, and have we ever considered His supremacy? The message really spoke to me. I was, yet again, SWEETLY BROKEN!

After the activity, we were given free time. While the servant leaders were preparing for the activity later that night, some of us played Si Maria, and Cat and Dog in the water, others (KJ included) played the great Sand Ball Tournament, while others did their usual. We then had dinner, and then Session 3, the last session of the camp. The teaching was taken from Psalm 51. God washed in over us that night. It was (yet again,) AWESOME!!! He revealed a lot to us like the way He breaks us, the way He comforts us, and the way He always restores us willingly. We then had our afterglow wherein we did nothing but worship with songs, and pray for one another. A lot of us (me included) had tears streaming down our eyes. God was there!

After the afterglow, we (the ones who were willing to take part in the last activity) were given index cards. We tasked to write our masks, the things we cover up and pretend about on one half, and on the other, the sins we still hold on to, so we wrote.

On the sand, we lit up the bonfire and burned the first half of our index cards in it. Near the campfire was a cross that was put up earlier, and we nailed the second half (the one with the sins) on it. Now, the activity didn't mean anything significant in a life-changing way, but it was just a symbol of our willingness to let go of our dishonesties and insecurities, and nailing in our sins with Jesus as a sign of lifting it all up to Him. We continued to sing praises around the campfire, until i accidentally slept on the sand. Ate Mich had to wake me up for midnight snacks, where we roased marshmallows and hotdogs over the open campfire. It was fun and delicious, but the only problem was that the sticks were too short, and the fire was too hot, so it took some trouble to get the food cooked, but i know none of us wanted it any other way. We then got ready for bed. Ate M had to scold us (the guys) a few times before we actually decided to go to sleep. We eventually did.

The next morning, i, again, woke up at 5, and did my devotion. I also got a few shots of the sunrise, and the other guys sleeping. We later did our group devotion, then b-fast, then the last encouragement in Deuteronomy 8:2. After that, we were given free time. For a video that Hillsong needed, those of us who were interested got a good clip of what broke us. I then went to the sea by myself to just goof around in the water. Then the most awesome thing happened. God later told me to sit where the sand and the water touched, and just look around and meditate on what i saw. I tell you, it was really cool.

What God showed me during those moments at the water's edge was that we are as powerless and insignificant as the sand that stood under the mercy of the waters. Our time here on earth is as limited as the time each grain of sand spent on staying put at where the waves crashed. It was the sea that decided for the stilness and the demise of the sand. God was the sea. As vast, and as powerful as the ocean was, compared to the sand, so is He compared to us, times an eternity.

After that, i spent time reflecting, then played cards, packed my bags, and then we went back home. The brokenness i discovered during the stay there at camp was life-changing. God has revealed Himself more beautiful than ever!!!